Month: July 2008

Missing Person Alert!!!

a lost soul

Dear Kind and Gullible Child of God:

I am sending this picture to you in hopes that you might have spotted this missing person. He was last seen on or about April 27, 2005 roaming the woods somewhere in the Northeast region of the United States. An amateur hiker who has also been diagnosed as “directionally challenged”, he has been known to wander off with a fanny pack containing nothing more than a wrinkled peach and a half-eaten Clif bar. He does not have the mental capacity to follow simple trail signs, so we are afraid he might be still rambling in circles in some tranquil wood with no food, water or shelter.

Please, please, help us to locate him. He answers to the name, “Hey, stupid!”. We desperately want him to come home, and have set up a donation fund into which we need to funnel money from compassionate (and very easily fooled) people such as you. Please forward this email to at least 700 people.

It is very easy to donate…simply give me the number and routing code for your biggest bank account and I will make a withdrawal. The amount is based upon our actual need at the time. Right now, we haven’t found anyone gullible enough to actually believe us, but we were told that you might be just the type of person we are looking for.

Thank you, thank you, from the bottom of our hearts. You are truly a child of God and we are certain you will be welcomed through the gates of heaven above when you are called by our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen!!!

Favorite Food Places

One of my interests is food, next to computers, politics, family, and work. Now that I plan on blogging perhaps I should share some of the links that were on my former webpage. The list includes Russillo Ristorante on Bloomfield Avenue in West Caldwell; Katz’s Delicatessen on the Lower East Side in New York City; Holsten’s, my favorite ice cream parlor in the whole world; and Corrado’s, a supermarket in Clifton with costumers who come in all shapes, colors, and sizes. It looks like the United Nations.

Living in Essex County, New Jersey is like living in the best area for good food. Do you have a place you always visit because you know the food will be delicious each and every time you go? Well, my place is called Russillo Ristorante, 675 Bloomfield Avenue, West Caldwell. The owner is Enzo. He makes great Italian food, whether it is soup, pasta, pizza, or any of the many appetizers or main courses on his menu. It looks like a typical pizza joint in the front but there is a small, intimate restaurant in the back. Why you don’t see his restaurant listed in New Jersey Monthly or on a best of list is beyond me. Don’t ask me why because in my book it offers the best Italian food in North Jersey.

Down the street from me, literally, is an ice cream parlor, Holsten’s, made famous in the last episode of Soprano’s. Don’t be a tourist if you go there and ask for onion rings. Their specialty is ice cream and chocolate.  Be prepared to wait in line at Easter time. Their homemade bunnies are amazing. I get my fix about once or twice a month with a hot fudge sundae. 1063 Broad Street, Bloomfield, just minutes off the Garden State Parkway, exit 151.

Back onto the Parkway to exit 155 and you are a couple blocks from the best multi-ethnic supermarket anywhere. Want cheese you never heard of? Fruits from all over the world? All at bargain prices is the standard for Corrado’s, 1578 Main Avenue, Clifton. Need directions, just check their website. Once you go there you will always go back.

The other place that makes my mouth water is Katz’s Delicatessen located on the Lower East Side in Manhattan. Remember the movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’ in which Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm in front of Billy Crystal? The scene was shot at Katz’s. I don’t go there hoping to meet Meg Ryan but that would be nice. Instead I take my kids for the best pastrami you can find. My problem is that it is so delicious and so large that all other pastrami sandwiches in the metroplitan area just can’t match the taste. Does anyone know of a better place than Katz’s?

These are a few of the places in my top ten places to eat. Try them out.

Hello world!

Hello, my name is Michael Swayze. This blog has been a long time in coming, too long. The purpose here is to share with you some of my thoughts and ideas, interests and concerns, with an opportunity for you to let me know what you think and feel.  Over time there may be a number of categories added to the blog, all expressing my interests.  Don’t be surprised if you see a mix of topics ranging from food or music to advocacy issues and politics, or a number of professional concerns as well.

To give you a little background – I’m a lifelong resident of New Jersey, a strong family man (no, I’m not a member of the Republican Party although I was in my youth), and passionate  about my work and interests. I consume my time with music and good food, work a lot, and devote my spare time to web surfing and maintaining a website known as New Jersey Community Resources.

Time for a beer. Catch you later.